You were only a few years older,
and I was nothing but a kid.
You were the smartest boy I'd ever met,
and I was nothing but a soul that hid.
You were perfect and you damn well knew,
the damage you could cause,
to a silly little girl like me,
who'd love you without a pause.
And we were nothing but confused teens,
who didn't know a thing about love.
Well maybe you did, but for sure I did not,
'cause I stuttered and shivered and lost.
I lost my ability to control my senses,
and I lost my ability to think.
Because back then my world revolved around you,
and that was nothing but a big mistake.
Because you woke up one day,
you called me to say,
"I'm sorry," and you said, "we're through,"
And I couldn't comprehend,
what went through your head,
'cause it was nothing but out of the blue.
From that very moment I looked at myself,
and I wondered what the hell went wrong.
'Cause I loved you, I think,
And I did everything.
You were home, you were where I belonged.
And you made me obsessed,
and you made me depressed,
and you made me so insecure.
I was only a kid
What the hell did you think
when you said you didn't love me anymore?
Until this day, I wouldn't know what to say,
if you ever showed your face to me again.
'Cause you were my first and my most painful hurt,
but you were also my very best friend.
I'll always remember your birthday on September,
and the way your eyes turn to grey.
And I'll always remember that day on December,
when you told me you missed me one day.
You don't know the effect you have on me,
and I'm pretty sure you never will.
'Cause I try my very best,
to hide what's in my chest,
so this friendship of ours stays still.
But I will always love you because I cannot hate you,
no matter how hard I try.
Your memories would always feel bittersweet,
because I could laugh and at the same time, cry.
And I'm scared we'll get older
and get married to other people
and maybe even have kids.
And I'll see you on the corner,
of your favorite bookstore,
and I'll be back to the soul that once hid.
Because you made me express,
and you made me impressed,
with your charm and your assuming.
And I'll always dread the day,
when you finally come my way,
to ask me how I'm doing.